Victory -- Thy Name is Kelly's

As day gave way to night in the Lower East Side of the bustling metropolis called New York, Kelly's One bravely squared off against their arch nemeses: Bad for the Balls, the rag-tag crew of pool-playing misfits from the Edge.

What does New York have to say about the Edge?

This may look like a neighborhood bar, but it's the wrong neighborhood. It's a little bit of the Upper East Side smack in the heart of the East Village.

And that's how they play.

The evening started off rough. The pools gods smote Tim Malloy, allowing Bad for the Balls to take the first match. Max Ernst quickly negated their lead, and Kevin Tran put our team up by one. Danny Irizarry provided the biggest thrills of the night, first staking his opponent to a three-game lead. He then launched a comeback the likes of which have rarely been seen, stroking his way to five consecutive victories. Kerin Conroy fought valiantly, but his opponent fought valianter. At the end of the night, Kelly's One had prevailed, 3-2.

"We were lucking to get out of there alive," said the captain for Bad for the Balls. "To face that team -- on their home table -- is something no man would wish for himself. All in all, they treated us with mercy, and we are thankful. Deeply thankful."

A special mention must be made of the contributions of Sam Hubball. Though she did not wield a stick in battle, she showed unqualified support by springing for a large deluxe pizza at the end of combat. The Florence Nightengale of the APA, she provided succor when her team was in need. Her efforts were deeply appreciated by all.

The Winged Victory of Samothrace